Date Diaries is a series chronicling the anonymous adventures of those involved in the ever complicated and increasingly unbelievable world of modern dating. To submit your story, fill out the form at the bottom.
This week, Chloe, 24, a heterosexual intern from Texas, recalls her post-break-up date that began something she could never expect...
The weekend after I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, I went to Carnival in London. Now, I’m basically married to a man I met there. This is that story.
First of all, let me explain. I’m really not the type to jump from relationship to relationship, not at all. But when I met Alex*, I guess that changed. I’d been with my ex-boyfriend for two years when we eventually broke up. But, I had been emotionally checked out for months so I wasn’t really in that crazy emotional stage that you can be in after a break up - I was very ready to be done.
Still though, I didn’t want to meet anyone knew. Out of respect for both him and I, I just wanted to stay single for a while. So when my friends invited me to Carnival that weekend, I told myself I would drink, dance and have fun with them: that’s it. A few hours in and a lot of liquid courage later, I was whining up on a man I barely knew.
I was intoxicated, heavily, and having a grand old time. I was loving life, to be honest.
When I went back to my friends, they were like ‘wow, he’s really cute’ and I looked at him properly for the first time and realised: ‘yeah, he is actually really really cute.’ So – again, liquid courage in my veins - I went back over to him and asked him his name, told him we should go to lunch and gave him my Instagram.
Initially, even though he was the most beautiful man there, I was just expecting friendship. I suggested lunch, for God’s sake. I’m originally from the US, and I didn’t have any male friends in London, so having something platonic was perfect for me. But then, the more we DM’d, eventually texted and then called, the more I realised: ‘I actually really like this man.’
So, two weeks after meeting at Carnival we were getting ready to meet up and I was more anxious than I’ve ever felt in my life. We’d shared so much over text, I’d basically told him my whole life: would he match up in reality? It didn’t help I had no clue what we were doing. All he told me was to meet him at Barbican station, the rest would be a surprise.
While I waited for him at the station – I was super early because I was so nervous – I went over in my head everything we could talk about. But then, I saw him walking towards me and it was literally like a movie. Just seeing him, all of my nerves went away and as soon as we said hello, it was like I was meeting someone I’d known for years.
The first part of the date turned out to be a visit to Barbican Conservatory. Sat among the botanical garden, he had arranged for us to have high-tea. So, we sat down, ordered our selection of cakes and began talking about everything and anything.
Two and a half hours later, we had literally not stopped talking for one second. We were getting kicked out of our brunch session and we had not touched one bit of food or drink the entire time. It was like we fell into a spell, just purely engrossed in each other’s company. Of course, we weren’t about to let all of this food go to waste, so we had our cakes wrapped up and went for a walk around the conservatory.
Alex is really into photography, and me? I’m really into being photographed. He had brought an old-film camera to document our date (I know, he was in love already), and so went around the botanical garden having a mini photoshoot.
Normally, on dates, I feel like I need to act a certain way or hold myself differently, but not with Alex. We were both so goofy, as if we’d been friends since we were kids, and we couldn’t stop saying how refreshing it was to just be completely yourself with someone.
Soon enough, we had used the entire Conservatory as our own personal studio and he suggested we go to ‘the next place’. I had no idea he’d even planned a second part to this date, it all seemed so spontaneous up until then, but he had already decided to take me around Shoreditch for more photo opportunities. We walked down Brick Lane, went to the market and checked out some of the vintage camera stuff, taking photos as we went.
As we got to Old Street, he pointed me towards Bounce, the ping pong club. At this point, we’d walked and talked for so long I was glad for some respite from chattering on, so we played a few rounds of ping pong and that’s when the date really started to heat up. There was so much tension around us, and all I could think about was kissing him. ‘Do people kiss on the first date? What are the rules?’ I asked myself, trying to recollect the last time I even had a first date (two years ago, it turns out.)
But then, I didn’t have to ask any more because he was already pulling me in for ours. ‘Finally,’ I sighed in my head – there was no question now about whether this was a friend date or not, we were most certainly into each other.
At this point, it was early evening and so we decided to go for a drink somewhere, settling on Dishoom in Shoreditch. We had tea on their little patio and talked even more before he suddenly suggested a change in location. I swear, that day we travelled all up and down the Northern Line. This time, he fancied Camden, so we set about on the tube and then headed towards Primrose Hill.
It must’ve been around 7pm by the time we got there and we’d been together since 11am. We sat, watching the sunset and continuing what must’ve been the world’s longest conversation at this point.
My stomach rumbling was the only indication that we hadn’t eaten this entire time, and we could no longer ignore it. It was 10pm almost and that meant one thing: pizza. So we walked to Rossopomodoro in Camden, ordered a ton of pizza and before we knew it, we were getting kicked out of there too.
Finally, we had to admit defeat, it was time to go home. I ended up in bed by 1am, having basically been on a 12-hour date. It wasn’t what I expected at all, nor was I what came after: three months on, we’re now officially together and I’ve never felt so content.
It just goes to show, even if you’re just after a rebound the real deal can come along when you least expect it. It’s cliché I know, but I guess it’s said so often because it really is true.
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