On a first date with my now-boyfriend, I went to grab his arm and accidentally knocked his glasses out of his shirt pocket into... a lake (a very sexy, chill move by me). He had to wear his prescription sunglasses into the dimly-lit bar we went to afterwards, where eventually it got too dark for him to see, so we had to cut the night short. I only wanted to point out a cute turtle and instead wound up feeling like I’d ruined the night, prompting some guilty tears (a second very sexy, chill move on my part.) Despite the rocky start, and the fact that the date cost him the price of our drinks and the $150 it cost to get his glasses replaced, we’re still together, and anytime we pass that lake he makes sure to needle me about my ill-fated turtle-pointing.
Anyway, the point is that bad first dates can work (for further evidence, see the entirety of the movie Hitch), so if things go off the rails, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll never see this person again. Plus, I cannot guarantee that getting things right on a first date will make someone fall into love, lust, or bed with you. I’m just here to give you the best shot at not completely screwing it up.
Pick the right place. Or two.
Going on a first date involves doing a series of semi-desperate, unchill things—like sending an opening message, suggesting the switchover from an app to real texting, and actually asking someone out—while simultaneously trying not to come on too strong. The key to striking the proper balance is your behind-the-scenes preparation, and part of that is picking the right place to go on your date. If you have a go-to date spot, that’s totally fine (hey, they’ve got the best labneh dip in town! It’s not your fault!), but if you don’t, put in some legwork. Look for places with a Signature Cocktail Menu kind of vibe, in a price range where nabbing the entire check isn’t going to blow your grocery budget for the next week. Even more importantly, pick somewhere that doesn’t require your date to travel too far out of their way.
For a slightly more advanced move: check out the area of the restaurant and see what there is to do afterward. Don’t communicate that to your date beforehand (it’s just added pressure to prolong a date they might not be into), but should the opportunity arise, you can drop a casual, “Hey, there’s a vegan donut shop around the corner that’s really good—wanna go?” This preparation will make you seem calm and in control, but not controlling. Offer up your ideas as suggestions and if the other person says yes, take care of all the planning.
Follow up, but don’t pester.
Once you’ve mapped out the details, you don’t need to keep talking to the person daily. You absolutely should not be sending good morning or good night texts if you’ve never met in real life. What you should do is check in with the person at least an hour before the date with a simple, “We still on for tonight?” Over-communicating before the date leaves you two with nothing to talk about on the actual date and can read as needy. Similarly, don’t ever go back and watch their old Insta story highlights or like old tweets of theirs. In fact, don’t interact with their social media at all. If you go on three dates and they’re down for a fourth, that is when you can get involved online. Yes, even if their social accounts are linked to their Tinder and they’re an aspiring influencer hawking hair-strengthening gummies.
"date" - Google News
December 13, 2019 at 04:04AM
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7 Ways to Have a Great First Tinder Date - GQ
"date" - Google News
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